Everyone is sound asleep. Except the baby… of course.
me: I thought you were taking the first shift tonight?
DMW (dead man walking): yep
me: well? don’t you hear her crying?
DMW: yeah… I’ve decided to let her cry-it-out…
(insert the sound of choking cricket here)
And just like that… I went from REM to pee-oed in less than 30 seconds. You will be proud to know that I’ve handled myself with grace and maturity… as I typically do in situations of this nature. I cursed and insulted his mother enough times to guarantee me a place in hell, followed by a grand slam of our bedroom door (I know that deep down inside… my neighbors love me).
I am not against the Cry-It-Out Method. I am also not against the Attachment Theory. I even think Sphinx kittens are cute, BUT the point here is that is NOT how you make that decision… The least you would want to do is CONSULT the mother of the child. Preferably before 6pm… a month BEFORE you actually plan to attempt this. At least then you could get a polite “Hell, NO!”
I am just not ready to let her cry yet. I am not saying I never will be, but I don’t see this happening in the near future. I am tired. He is tired. But that’s the name of the game – a lot of worry and not a lot of sleep.
I actually think she is doing much better … just recently Leila stopped eating at night (most of the time). She still wakes up around 1am and fusses a little, but if I rub her back and massage her legs she usually goes back to sleep within 30-40 minutes. She still wakes up way too early (4:30 – 5am), but we had a few mornings when she just sat quietly in the crib till 6:30am. I could almost call this “sleeping through the night”. All new parents go through this. This is normal, right?…. RIGHT?!
Listen… worse case scenario… if she is still waking up at 1am by the time she is one (…or two-ish…) I will let her cry it out. But for now one of the two things need to happen:
a. I need to learn to go to bed at 7pm
b. We move to a different time zone
And let’s end this post on a positive note:
P.S. I think I am going to try again to push her bed time to 8pm. It didn’t work the first 5 times (she woke up at the same time anyway and was just more tired during the day), but she is now a month older and wiser…right? Plus in just a few weeks we will be moving the clock back one hour… which will accordingly move Leila’s wake up time to 4am… exciting, no?
I think sleep issues are the most difficult to overcome as a new parent. NOTHING has even touched how difficult it is to tackle that problem! When my son was first born I was TOTALLY against the cry-it-out method, and really didn't give it a good try until he was about 6.5 months old….after months of sleepless nights (like waking up about 5 to 8 times a night) and no-nap days, I just couldn't take anymore. My husband works around 80 hours a week and has never been able to help out with night waking issues, so I just had to bite the bullet. It's worked great for us, but I can totally understand not wanting to do it, and I'll admit that even now, after doing it, I will be on pins and needles during his entire fits of crying. It's hard, and I can't blame anyone for not doing it. I also think it's important for every parent to decide what is right for their family. My son will REFUSE to sleep AT ALL if I am anywhere in ear or eye shot of him, so crying it out was the only way to go for us. All I can say is good luck…with WHICHEVER method you choose!
M
Here's my two cents because I'm sure you are dying to know. I did do cry it out and it worked great until we went on vacation and it all went out the door. I can't do again because she is too loud and I don't think it's fair to make the neighbors suffer because I have a child. I would advise against pushing her bedtime back. With kids, the more they sleep, the more they sleep and the less they sleep, the less they sleep. Even if she goes to sleep later I'd be willing to bet she will still wake up at the same time.
And my husband has pulled some last minute crap on me too and that is not a plan! That is just annoying.
I hear ya… I haven't met anybody who have tried the CIO and it didn't work. I know that if you stick with it – it works. And we said we will discuss this again when Leila is 9 months. I just heard from enough moms to know how difficult it was for them and you have to REALLY be ready for it. And Mami… that is totally what all the books say – do not push baby's bed time – I am always going back and forth with it… and I am sure that Leila's sleeping problems is somehow my fault. I need to be more consistent or do something I am not doing or stop doing something I am doing… this parenting thing is going to drive me bananas!
Definitely – mom and dad have to be ready for this method. Either way, it's super hard. I would only interject that the longer you wait, the harder it will be. Trust me. But hey, you have to do what works for you. In my case, hubby and I got tired and cranky enough that we were turning into surly pirates. Something had to give so we decided it was time. Bam-Bam was about 7 months old when we finally went through with it. It took about 5 nights to really stick. Now he sleeps every night since from 8PM until about 7AM. The other part about cry-it-out is that you also do not go into the bedroom when the baby wakes up at night. The way we did it was to go in and soothe him for a few seconds (but the key is to do it without picking up the baby, which sucks because all you want to do is scoop up your baby and soothe them) and then leave the room. That part took longer, but after about a month or so Bam-Bam was totally "trained," if that is an appropriate way to put it. And you are so right, consistency is key. If you cave, you have to start over. Sometimes I would have to go sit out on the porch or take a walk around the block. And for me, it was SO worth it. I have a child who gets lots of sleep and so do mommy and daddy (ahhhhhh, very nice).
So, if you find yourself getting surly…..you'll know it's time to do it. I promise you it is not torture. Good luck, hon. And thanks for visiting my blog, btw.
now HOW could you let that sweet adorable little girl CRY IT OUT
she's just too precious!
I hear you. been there. done that. Times 4
. its soooo hard. i felt the same way as you – and i think i had a very similar convo with my husband… and it all worked out great. All 4 of my kids sleep through the night now… well, with the exception of my 5 year old who's now taken to wetting the flippin' bed 5 nights a week… but thats a diff. story. ugh. Trust your gut. you'll know when she – and you – are ready 
Love her Mozart pic. She is adorable.
Sorry that the sleeping is still a struggle. Poor Dennis really botched this one.
Good luck when/if you decide the CIO. It is tough but if it works, it's worth it in the long run.
I will never understand how when we're babies, and can sleep whenever we want, we'd rather be up, and now as adults, when we can't, all I want to do is sleep. It's 6:15 and I've been up since 5 with a jet-lagged baby, having just returned from Scotland. Hopefully we'll get back on schedule one day…
He's always been a decent, if not great, sleeper. I did try CIO one or two nights and ALWAYS ended up going in the room to soothe him. I just couldn't take it. And I have learned that there is a difference in his cries: I never leave him when he is hysterically screaming, because that's not normal for him. But we DID start ignoring him at night, when his cries were quieter, more annoyed than upset, and more like a whimper–in fact some of the time he was still practically asleep. So we just let him carry on until he put himself back to sleep, and now he rarely wakes up at night, and we never get up with him.
Anyway, this is getting too long–will be writing a post about it soon. Just let me recommend "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," hands down the best sleep book I found, if not the most well written!
Hey, if she is only waking up one time you are doing great. My kids were horrible at sleeping through the night. I would read every book, every idea, talk to their pediatrician and usually come away with the answer.. "well good luck".
And yeah, I would have been really mad too.
ohmagawd, just going through this exact thing, exactly tonight. Running between CIO now or never never never and it's hard for the husband who just wants a DAMN PLAN!
I'm sorry you're going through it. boy, I can relate.