At least once a week I spend about an hour at the Gymboree. Leila looooves it. Me? Well… I do my best to enjoy the rainbow throw-up and the clown… and the “twist-twist-twist”…and “the up and down” … and “the side to side”… and OMG where is mommy’s drink-drink-drink?!
Our Gymboree teacher is a really lovely lady, but as Simon Cowell would say “when you sing, do you find that animals start running towards you?”… but that is not the worst part of the hour. I honestly don’t get why some parents force their kids to do certain activities when their child clearly does not want to, is not developmentally ready for it and just shows signs of distress… you know, like screaming MOMMY! MOMMY! and holding their hands up to be saved. I understand that the activities are completely safe and designed for that particular age group, but not all children enjoy sitting under the giant parachute and watch it go up and down almost hitting their heads. The same way not every one of us enjoys bungee jumping or roller coaster rides… or cooking and doing laundry over and over and over… and OMG where is mommy’s drink-drink-drink?!
When I was pregnant with Leila we met a friend of a friend who had just recently become a father. We stopped by their house and he did what most people do when they see a pregnant person – eagerly shared all the expertise and knowledge on all things parenting, followed by the top 10 things that may cause SIDS and a suggestion to sleep while I can (never heard that one before) I must have given him an impression that I wanted to hear more (really need to tone down my active listening skills…), because a few minutes later we were in front of his computer where he proudly opened the mother-load of the Excel spreadsheets with graphs showing the progress and development of his 3-month-old daughter… DAY.BY.DAY. He showed me how just the week before she had gained a little more than “the average kid of her age” and how he was a little concerned but thank God (!) the fat kid hit the plato and is back to being in the 50-th percentile. Too bad because I would have liked to hear about the baby Atkins Diet and the exercise routine he came up with. Your baby is not meeting your expectations in the first 90-days of her life? … why don’t you get a drink-drink-drink?… and a chill pill?
Last week at the library a man asked me how old was my boy. I told him she was 12 months. His eyes got big and he quickly pointed to the stroller on the other side of the room:
“My daughter is the same age, but doesn’t even want to walk! What do you think is wrong with her?” …
Well…you are at the library, surely they have an “Idiot’s Guide for Overanxious Parents” somewhere around here. One day I am really going to say that out loud… (no I am not…) but as a 30-year-old who can never meet her own parents’ expectations I am genuinely sad for these kids. I understand that all of our kids are the best, the smartest, the cutest and we want them to succeed in life… but there has to be a limit. I know… I know… it is easy for me to talk because I am that perfect parent and all…
*duck*just kidding… give your kid a cookie, let them watch some TV and poor yourself a drink-drink-drink… your baby will grow up to be a gorgeous doctor. I promise.
I’m so glad you weren’t there to witness the horror of watching my kid eat a Cheerio that dropped on the floor of the library bathroom. Even I flinched, but alas was not able to get there from my seated position. Oh well, she seems to have survived the incident.
Lisa´s last blog ..Jealous?
Oh, and I really hate the comparison game: “Look at this girl and how nicely she can knit, stitch, and her hair is brushed so well….”
Both of our mothers have an unusual way to encourage their kids… I still get that almost on weekly basis.
There is a CLOWN at Gymboree??? That’s it; I’m striking that one right off of our to-do list.
It’s funny, I’m actually very Type-A want to be perfect in all ways about myself, but my kid? Eh. So he’s 9 months and not crawling; it means I don’t have to baby proof yet! The thing that drives me NUTS is that my kid is tall and looks like he’s about 15 months old. Seriously he’s the tallest one at the playground, and is even taller than one friend’s 23 month old. So I have to HEAR about how tall my kid is from everyone, OR I have to hear other parents start to talk to me in this really pitying voice about how, it’s ok! Kids walk at all different times! When they assume my 15+ month old is not even crawling yet. It’s enough to make me want to carry a flask, not for me but to shove down their throats to make them shut up.
Beth´s last blog ..It Runs in the Family
I’ve only been to Gymboree once (for a birthday party). Hayden wasn’t interested in participating in most things and I was okay with that – that is his general M.O.
I also find it aggravating when parents pressure their children to do things that the children are obviously not wanting to do – it’s sad. And pressuring their children to be something that they aren’t.
We have to accept our children for who they are – and love them – regardless of what we feel their shortcomings might be. Because they are our children – and it is our job to love them and support them, not demean or judge them.
Melissa´s last blog ..getting to know you…
That woman with the Excel spreadsheets needs to get a grip!
Overly anxious parents are so irritating! And the whole milestone war is just ridiculous.
Also, I hate unsolicited advice!
Daiva, let’s go to Costco together and drink lemonade!
Old School/New School Mom´s last blog .."Button Nose" Provides Zipper Practice
meet you in the lemonade isle!
So glad I found your blog. I love your posts. And so glad to meet another Mom who is not too worried about comparing one child to the other. Funny thing is, I did worry quietly, but never did all the activities and things with my babies, simply because I couldn’t really afford them. My daughter only walked at 16 months because, well, she’s cautious and has remained that way until today in everything. She thinks everything through and takes her time. Lucky her. My son is the opposite, crawled at six months and walked at nine – just a crazy adventurous soul. Guess what, at seven, he’s exactly the same. If only parents would accept that each child (like each parent) is different, has different likes and dislikes and abilities, the world would be a much happier place (especially in the parent/child groups where all the anxiety goes on). I’m all for imagination and play and if they become brilliant doctors so be it, if they become themselves and are happy : that, I care about MUCH more. Thanks for having a sense of humour about the entire situation. Will keep reading. : )
Tricia
Tricia (irishsamom)´s last blog ..Singleness of Purpose
Lots of love right back at you!
I will 2nd that, AND I will be pouring myself that drink-drink-drink shortly after Miss Gracelynn arrives
Jenn´s last blog ..The Mommy Diet
I have to say I am a little bit irritated that Johnnie isn’t walking only because he is so heavy! My arm is killin me. But I hear you loud and clear and I don’t understand why we all compare but I been guilty of it myself and am trying not to do it anymore. I love reading your blog.
I love your honesty – I think we all do it a little bit, it is natural AND I am sure I would be pretty exhausted if Leila wasn’t walking yet, but if we don’t love them unconditionally who will?
I love this blog. I had a co-worker whose daughter was 6 months younger than mine and he constantly compared notes and once said, “I am going to have her walking by 9 months.” Sheesh, I felt bad for his poor kid in the event that she didn’t meet his high set of standards he had set for her. I had a wonderful childhood filled with skinned knees, drinking from the garden hose and eating oreo cookies almost daily….my daughter is experiencing that same life and I think she will grow up and be a better human being for it. Too many damn overachieving parents creating overachieving kids that will end up with anxiety and depression issues. Well…enough of that, we have to go digging through the dirt to find some more snails for our snail farm
That co-worker of yours is in for some rude awakening sooner or later… and I am bracing myself for the age of the fascination with snails and other slimy creatures that I used to bring home too.
Expecting perfection from your kids is a recipe for sky-high psychiatric bills a few years done the road. Plus, who has time for perfection? I’m waaaayyyy too tired to even go there.
Glad Leila has an accepting and loving Mama. Lucky girl!
-Robyn
Maybe having more than one is the best cure for new-parent anxiety
OHH there are 2 beers in the fridge with my name on them tonight. HA!
I’m actually similar in a different sort of way, heh. My daughter was 10 weeks early, so while she’s a calendar year old…she’s only supposed to be 11 months. I find myself CONSTANTLY explaining her age (like that’s supposed to make up for the fact that she’s not walking, talking, etc.).
I need to start drinking before I head out in public
Amber´s last blog ..Anti Depressant
I LOVED this post! My post for tomorrow actually touches on a similar situation. It drives me nuts, the competition. And before preschool, no less!
Just like Beth above, I am also type A and tend to put a lot of pressure on myself to be perfect. I also try to not put it on my daughter. But wow, the spreadsheet? I’ve never been so proud to feel like an under-achiever. Now off to mix that drink……
I love this. My cousin swears her 6-month old is left handed (and therefore will be the best baseball player ever). ahahahahaha. So irritating.
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I’m telling you, you should give seminars!
In that picture you look SO MUCH like Leila. Wow.
Bex´s last blog ..I’m Baaaaaaack!
Nice post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed browsing your blog posts. In any case I’ll be subscribing to your feed and I hope you write again soon!