I gave birth to the world’s worst sleeper… and then? I did it again. So all of you who told me that my second one will FOR SURE be a good sleeper, because the universe is never THAT cruel… you? You will burn in hell for all your lies! Right next to all those bastards who said that breastfeeding burns calories.
And before you all go… but, Daiva?! Newborns are supposed to wake up frequently so they could eat and grow up to be food-throwing, hair-pulling, kitten killers!
Duh! I know THAT. The problem is that Liam will mostly sleep for about an hour and a half… ok, two hours if it’s a holiday, but then he stays completely awake and completely annoyed with life for hours at a time. Especially if it is two in the morning… because then he can just pass out around 5am, which also happens to be the time when his lovely sister rings a bell for her breakfast in bed and the entertainment crew, aka. MAAAA-MAAAA! UP-AH, UP-AH! And as a well train Pavlov dog I bring her milk and carry her highness downstairs. At which point I make my signature mommy of two-under-two champion breakfast -> Special K with diet RedBull (try it… you’ll thank me later), turn on my autopilot and truck along till about noon until Leila goes down for her nap and my mom takes over Liam so I get to take a break. Lucky… I know. The problem is that my mother will be leaving in two weeks and then? I am royally screwed. And as much as I care to maintain my image (that I spent years establishing through this blog and my life-altering status updates on Facebook) let’s be honest… unless I start sprinkling cocaine on my mornings doughnuts I won’t last a day.
This is all temporary. I get it. I am not panicking. I am almost not even complaining… It’s just that this temporary stage lasted for about a year with Leila, so all I could do right now is prepare for the worst and hope for… a little less worse. As much as I hate to say this I think I see a part-time daycare in Leila’s future. Unless, of course… Liam pulls his act together and starts sleeping through the night, changing his own diapers and putting his sister down for her naps. I say it’s the least he could do for a woman who gave him life, no?
Go lay down and take a nap, I’m sure Leila can watch Liam. Let them fend for themselves for an hour, or five. Time to start teaching them independence. They’ll be fine, promise!
Biz´s last blog ..Will work for food
Oh honey – Bless your heart. Maybe your third child will be your dream sleeper. Hang in there.
Dawn´s last blog ..Austin the hermit
Yes, we’ll keep on trying until I birth a perfect sleeper
HAHAHAHA you know it’s your fault I want another one right?????
Amber´s last blog ..Want It Wednesday – Master Bedroom Makeover
Oh girl, I hope that Liam will go from one and a half hours to at least five and a half soon. Can you make your mom stay for just a little longer? My thoughts are with you. Wish I could help somehow…
cocaine on my morning doughnuts……bwahahaaha. i have a connection if you need one. KIDDING, OTHER MOMS. KIDDING.
i have no advice. i have nothing to say except feel free to dump leila at our house anytime after your mom leaves and before i give birth. i’ll give her sugar and let her put maddy in a head lock. it could be good times.
Who needs sleep Those donuts will get you through the day!;-)
Good luck with Liam!
Miss S´s last blog ..How much is too much to share
Now I am terrified of the prospect of having a second child. I might go insane if the universe pushes repeat in the sleeping department. I hope you find the magic combination of events and tactics to get through this with your sanity. *hugs and serotonin*
Lisa´s last blog ..Like walking into an oven
I have no advice or anything remotely interesting to add, except to say that I feel your pain… sort of, anyway… I have one really bad sleeper, and I’m sure when my second one comes around that I’ll be in the exact same boat as you. In the end, assuming you survive this stage, I’m sure you’ll come out stronger for it.
verdemama´s last blog ..Hello- Stranger
I don’t know what to say. It’s an insanely exhausting stage.
At least they’re cute, right?
So cute I will forget about all this and want another one before the end of this week. I am insane… obviously.
As you can tell I am a guy, therefore I wouldn’t dream of giving you or any other mother advice on child rearing. So I’ll just tell you how we broke our daughter off the “Pavlovian” crying at 4:00 am.
We went on a short holiday and left our newborn with our sister. She told us she could break our little one’s crying habit in no time at all.
Sure enough, when we got back there was no more crying and screaming in the middle of the night. So, how did you do it? we asked her. She simply told us that she just let her cry.
It is a Pavlovian response. Our girl realized that yelling and screaming no longer worked so she went back to sleep. If your heart simply disintegrates and turns into dust just thinking about doing this, then your baby will continue pushing your buttons.
You and all mothers deserve to have a Humongous Statute erected in front of each mother’s house.
Oh shit, that’s terrible. I’m sorry. I don’t even think that cocaine flavored donuts will help this situation.
Let me come over there and talk some sense into that screaming infant. Who does he think he is?!
Old School/ New School Mom´s last blog ..Co-Sleeping and The New Baby Part II
I’m reading your blog thinking you’ve got to read my blog and give Monique a try after your mom leaves. At least go for a tour and hear what she has to say.
Besides that, where the heck is Dennis during all of this? Wake his butt up! He could totally handle at least one nighttime feeding. Who cares if he’s tired at work. You’re tired “at work,” right? What’s the difference.
Brandy´s last blog ..Natalia’s starting daycare next week!
Please leave my butt alone
I do my share of night duties.
ok, ok Dennis! SORRY! I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions and mentioned your butt
Brandy´s last blog ..Natalia’s starting daycare next week!
That’s true – his butt is up at least half of the night most of the time.
To Old School/ New School Mom: Relax lady. My daughter is now a 28 year old beautiful well adjusted young woman. She has hundreds of friends. When she changed jobs recently, her boss put on a small party to thank her for the contribution she had made to the company.
You can put your knives and daggers away.
John Carr´s last blog ..When is the Best Time to Buy a Home in Toronto
Wah, wah, wah. My bad sleeper is 4.5 years old, and she is still a bad sleeper. That’s right, I said years, not months. I can’t even SPELL sleep anymore…
4.5 years? Ouch. I guess there is no bad that can’t be worse….
You might kill me when I say this but give Liam a chance, he is still little to be doing long stretches of sleep. Neither of mine did any more that 3 hours at a time until they were at least 8 weeks. All I can say is things can only get better from here.
I will help you whenever you need but I come with 2 kids of my own!
Props to Dennis’ butt for helping at night!
Whenever it gets bad I always think “well, Joan survived this AND she can fly a plane!”
My 8 month old daughter HATES sleeping. We finally did the cry it out thing at night which worked brilliantly although she still gets up around 4am. But trying to put her down for a nap is a full-on horror show. You’d think by her reaction that I was trying to KILL her!
I read once that babies that really struggle with sleep might also be very gifted. They are so stimulated by everything around them that they find sleep boring. I repeat that to myself like a mantra every time my daughter tries to throw herself from my arms the second she realizes I’m trying to soothe her to sleep.
You are correct. Sleep is for the weak. Bert slept from the time he was 3 to the time he was 4. The other 6 years? No sleep. Bea is still not sleeping through the night as she has her daddy trained. Funny, if you ask me since my big old belly isn’t getting out of bed anymore at night. Hubs is so desperate for sleep (aka “weak”) he ends up doing whatever she asks for. I got her out of bed the other morning with a brown face. That’s right! Her daddy gave her m & m’s at 3:30 am. Brilliant.
You poor thing! Alexa STILL doesn’t sleep…so I’m pretty damn sure my next (damn…did I just say next…your fault!) will be a shit sleeper to. Just to fuck with me. Though, next time around, I’m really really really going to try to stay away from co-sleeping. While it worked wonders in the beginning for keeping Alexa asleep, I’m pretty sure it’s my fault (and my boobs) that keep her away now that she’s 18 months. Oppsies.
Amber´s last blog ..Want It Wednesday – Master Bedroom Makeover
this made me laugh and fear at the same time!Q
maggie may´s last blog ..Vote or Die still laughing