Well, maybe Easter not so much… but we did have our annual WHO-THE-FUCK-HAS-TIME-FOR-THIS-SHIT?! family meeting. As a result I am going to re-new my weekly meetings with the therapist and Dennis will get more involved with family holiday planing and work on being a more present father. See? I got this whole working-mother thing under control.

In summary, I would like to forget the Easter of 2011. So there is that.

Last Saturday I turned 32, which is not even a real number… It’s like I’m still 31 only a year older. Make sense? I thought so.

If I could I would just fast-forward this week to Sunday, because for my Mother’s Day I’m getting the WHOLE DAY TO MYSELF. As in

ALL DAY

NO KIDS

NO WORK

UNICORNS EATING CAKE POPS

AND MINIATURE GIRAFFES ON MY LAP

kind of day.

Which clearly is the best Mother’s Day gift in the history of all gifts.

This message was neither approved nor sponsored by Hallmark.

Sometimes though she catches me off guard by sending something like… a red lingerie. And yes, you guessed it – with read feathers all around the neck and sleeves. Clearly my mother has a thing for feathers and I am yet to successfully psychoanalyze it.

This year’s package was a complete and total failure – it was a really nice brown sweater. I actually liked it! It was disappointingly perfect. I mean, what was I supposed to tell my friends? I now had no annual sweater story! My SIGNATURE story was ruined! I had nothing, zilch, nada! Clearly somebody must have bought this on her behalf, because if you know my mother she doesn’t own anything that covers more than 30% of her body and if it doesn’t reflect the light then it is clearly not the kind of clothing a lady with a taste would wear. My mother is every drag-queen’s dream-friend. Too bad she is scared of them.

I was borderline depressed when I called her this morning to thank for the sweater.

-I knew you would like it! Brown is your favorite color and it totally covers your huge hips! Glad you liked it.

See? I knew there had to be a good explanation.

(Have I told you that most of my blog traffic is Monday through Friday from about 9am to 5pm? No? Well now you know, but not to worry because your boss is reading this too.)

The kids are still driving me crazy, but that’s their job and we all love it. Liam is rolling around and army crawling… backwards. Which means I spend most of my days pulling him from under the couch. I am starting to think that this is one of his self-defense moves – his sister is too big to fit under the couch.

Leila is heading full speed into her wonderful twos and taking herself very seriously. Her vocabulary if booming and the last time I have played Pink’s Funhouse was the day she sang “I’ll burn this fucker down!” at Target. Let’s just file this under the not-so-proud-moments-of parenting and never talk about this again, mKay?

Holidays were great, but as always I am very relieved they are over. My best memory by far was the making of this slightly ridiculous family portrait:

Welcome to my bedroom. I think I just took my lack of privacy online to a whole new level. You are welcome.

I highly recommend taking a two month long break from blogging. I missed it so much I created another website. No… YOU are crazy. I mean what else am I supposed to do with all that free time and money? (Don’t answer that… I’m practicing my rhetorical questions, that is all)

I always felt that there is just not enough of Daiva on the Internet… so I fixed that -> http://www.dnatochyphotography.com/

P.S. strange, but I am actually looking forward to this holiday season… hence the costume that didn’t require overnight delivery.